I can’t believe it’s already July! I thought I’d feel more compelled to write when I was away but that wasn’t the case. I had this idea that I would wake up every morning and want to sit down and pour myself over my notebook or my keyboard. I didn’t. Instead, we got up, and walked in the sun, usually trying a new coffee place. We’d walk down to the beach and let the waves hit our feet and take in the beautiful glow of the Costa Rican sun, sand, sea, and air.
Never have I ever been to a place that felt so magical to me. When I think about that, I wonder if it’s a timing thing. Maybe it just happened to be the right place, with the right person, and being the current version of myself at the right time. It was also a reminder, as travelling always is, that nothing is ever as you think it will be. You can expect whatever you may, but life (the universe) always has a way of delivering the unexpected.
Travelling always has its distinct way of reminding me to let go. Every trip I’ve been on requires many moments of taking a deep breath and reminding myself to go with the flow. The anxiety that I have experienced since I was a little kid has this irritating need to try and control the smallest details, to tightly clasp onto things that have to be a certain way or have to go “my way”. I’ve been very blessed in my life to have gotten to do a lot of travelling on my own, as modelling took me far and wide in those years while most people were busy studying. Every trip has always had that simple but timely reminder to unclench from the things that I try and hold onto so tightly.
Travelling is also such a beautiful perspective shift. I always say it is a way you not only get to see how other people live but it gives you a pause from your own life that you left back at home and the person you were being in your daily ongoings. To me, it’s always felt akin to being the wise friend who can see things a bit more clearly because they aren’t submerged in whatever drama is going on. It’s the best way for me to take more of a bird’s eye view of what is working, what I want, what isn’t working, and what I don’t want.
Most days we adventured far and wide, mostly by foot. We walked the beaches and the muddy roads full of potholes often getting soaked in the abundant showers of the rainy season in Costa Rica. We adventured in Tuk Tuks when we were in Nosara weaving in and out of the giant puddles that covered every unpaved road there. We drove from one place to the next in this tiny two-wheel drive car that we were both calling by the end, “The little car that could”. As we quickly found out, no one goes to Costa Rica and rents anything less than a four-wheel drive. We even found ourselves at the foot of a highway where the road ended due to a gigantic very rapidly moving river taking over the road. We turned back around and headed many kilometres back to find another road to take us to our destination. A timely reminder that the universe also has a delicious and sometimes wicked sense of humour.
“The little car that could” took us from the airport along the East Coast where we got to explore different towns and sodas (little open concept restaurants that serve local Costa Rican food). We weaved in and out of potholes that littered most of the roads - the most I’ve ever seen. We drove up the mountain near one of the volcanoes and went horseback riding, tubing in the rapids, and zip lining. We saw howler monkeys, I got eaten by mosquitos, and we learned to surf!
It was such a full trip and it reminded me of the things that make me feel alive. I think being at home can make me feel so pigeon-holed at times and like I have a severe case of tunnel vision. Sometimes it feels like there’s only one way things can happen for me, only one way I can be happy and this idea it all has to all “look” a certain way. And that just isn’t the case! Especially in Nosara, there were such clear and inspiring examples of people living life THEIR way. I’ve always been drawn to people carving their own paths and forging an alternative way of life. I think it’s the same reason I am so drawn to astrology and human design, it’s a reminder how different and unique we all are and that we all need a different combination of things to quench the thirst of our souls.
I think the only way to describe Costa Rica for me is that it got under my skin. I could feel her working her magic on me, telling me to flow more, ride the waves, stop taking it all so seriously, breathe deeply, celebrate the little things, and not take any of it for granted. I loved that people would flock to the beach to watch the sunset together each day. Sure, sometimes that pace of life felt slow but it also made me realize that moving fast sometimes has this way of making you more forceful with life. I think it goes back to that anxious energy, that controlling, rigid, masculine energy we live in so much of the time over here in Toronto.
Watching the waves daily and then learning to surf was such an obvious and big reminder that the ocean (nature/life/the universe) is such a powerful beast and that I am never in a million years going to be able to control her, she just lets me think I’m winning sometimes. It was a reminder that it’s about letting go, sitting back, and learning to wait patiently for my wave all while enjoying the view. That timely lesson and our beautiful adventure couldn’t have come at a better time for me as I’ve been feeling so exasperated with certain areas of my life and the accolades I’ve been after. I remember now that there are so many different ways to be happy, there are so many different things, people, and places that make me feel happy and that I will be good no matter what happens. I always have been.
For now, I’m taking it a bit slower and remembering to wait for the wave with my name on it. That’s what Alejandro taught us when he taught us how to surf. Wait for the wave with your name on it, and even when you miss one, there will always be another one.
So wonderful Nadine to read how a vacation away should be - a time to recharge and think freely - as it should be . I suspect you guys are planning the next break away to recapture all that great energy . Had to laugh when I read your sentence about the masculine energy in Toronto. I was just saying to someone yesterday that I have more testosterone than most men these days ! Maybe I'll bottle and sell it to those with their heads in the sand - transitioning into a "Billy" . I loved your photos and could see some of them blown up in black and white . Lin